Nebinárna výchova detí: Ani chlapec ani dievča, som človek

Mnoho budúcich rodičov si láme hlavu na menom ich dieťaťa. V zálohe majú chlapčenské aj dievčenské mená alebo sa “poistia” tým, že ešte pred pôrodom zistia pohlavie dieťaťa. Ružová či modrá izba, akú výbavu či oblečenie kúpiť? To sú starosti, ktoré obchádzajú ľudí, ktorí svoje deti vychovávajú nebinárne. V tomto článku si prečítate príbeh o výchove dieťaťa menom Nova.


Celý príbeh dieťaťa Nova začal smutne, keďže identické dvojča Novy zomrelo a Nova sa narodilo predčasne v 16-tom týždni. Vážilo iba 450 gramov a určité pohlavie pridelené Nove bolo to posledné čo mamičku trápilo. Mamička sa tak rozhodla, že Nove dovolia každú farbu, hračku aj aktivitu bez rozdielu či to podľa stereotypov pripadá dievčatám alebo chlapcom.

On this last day of the decade we watched Nova kick butt and graduate from their current round of Physical Therapy (they have a 3 month break while they have their legs casted) and then we navigated another multi-hour neurosurgery consult. – For posterity and processing- today we learned that our primary NS isn’t willing to explore the two options our second opinion presented in Nova’s case yet but offered three other treatment options he is comfortable with for now. We have lots of information to navigate and some very big decisions to make this week. It’s all very heavy and my heart is hurting for this sweet kiddo while simultaneously feeling the gravity of having to be the ones to make a call and hope our choice ultimately offers them more reprieve than pain. – In navigating this we’ve also been forced to have difficult conversations surrounding Nova’s development and abilities. We’ve had to explore the parts of their brain that have been severely affected by prematurity, hydrocephalus, seizures, and headaches. We’ve had to acknowledge that further injury to their brain may cause them to loose skills and abilities they now possess. We’ve had to acknowledge that steady progress is not guaranteed or maybe even possible. All this while attempting to hold the truth that there is so much we don’t know – that neuroplasticity has already rewired their brain in ways that science can’t explain. That there are always questions and possibilities doctors and research and case studies can’t answer or account for. – It’s so tricky this space between pragmatic and hopeful. Honoring reality and just fucking wanting to see this person thrive and grow. – I’m not a resolutions sort of human but I’m setting intentions and at the top of the list are clarity and the hope that we can learn to enjoy each day we’ve got as best as we are able. – Cheers, y’all. – #savingsupernova #micropreemie #fuckttts #hydrocephalus #vpshunt #traumaticbraininjury

364 Likes, 13 Comments – ash luna (they/them) (@helloashluna) on Instagram: „On this last day of the decade we watched Nova kick butt and graduate from their current round of…“

Treats con sweets. – #novagram #savingsupernova

353 Likes, 6 Comments – ash luna (they/them) (@helloashluna) on Instagram: „Treats con sweets. – #novagram #savingsupernova“

Chlapec alebo dievča? Človek!

Zo začiatku to skúšali so zámenami ona/jej, Nova nosili šaty a viacmenej ju brali ako dievča.

No keď mali 3 roky, chceli nový strih vlasov a zmienili sa o slove “holá hlava”, navyše odmietli nosiť šaty. A takto to celé začalo…V zdravotnom, sociálnom alebo edukačnom prostredí si mamička začala všímať ako inak vnímajú Novu podľa toho či si myslia, že je dievča alebo chlapec.  Ako chlapca ich považovali za “silného, statočného, bystrého a vtipného” a ako dievča ich považovali za “milé, jemné, roztomilé a láskavé”. Neubránili sa ani častým otázkam na pohlavie Novy, no aj oni sami odpovedali “Som Nova!” alebo “Som človek!”. No každý bol takouto odpoveďou dosť frustrovaný a zmätený. Preto mnoho z nich bolo značne podráždených, keďže nevedeli ako sa k Nove správať bez toho aby vedeli ich pohlavie.

Oh the dichotomy this life presents. – Nova got their casts off today 4-8 weeks earlier than planned (!!!) because their muscles responded so quickly and their range improved so greatly. We went from muscle lengthening surgery being imminent to not meeting the criteria at all. bodies are so freaking cool. – And then we saw the our neurosurgeon. Since changing Nova’s shunt setting did nothing to increase their slit ventricles we’re inevitably on to the next intervention. (siiiigh) – Nova is scheduled to have an external ventricular drain placed on Monday March 02. They will then be in ICU for 3-7 days as our team evaluates Nova’s intracranial pressures and challenges their vents which will almost certainly lead to another shunt revision before we’re able to come home. – We also discussed cranial expansion surgery again and our primary neurosurgeon who was previously opposed now sees it as a viable option. It’s a big, scary procedure without certainty but may also be on our path before too long. – I am so grateful that we have a team we can trust and that we have a couple of weeks to prepare but oof. There is a chasm between hypothetically talking about these things to them being on the horizon and setting them into motion. The logistics of managing care for the other kids and figuring out work and life. Learning once again how to have our hearts and homes in three different places at once and oh the trauma and the triggers and the fear that accompany this territory. It’s so so so so much. – We will be okay. We always are. This human is brave and strong and resilient. And this will forever be incredibly hard. – #savingsupernova #cerebralpalsy #hydrocephalus #slitventriclesyndrome

557 Likes, 26 Comments – ash luna (they/them) (@helloashluna) on Instagram: „Oh the dichotomy this life presents. – Nova got their casts off today 4-8 weeks earlier than…“

We all know that clothes don’t have a gender but so many companies insist on telling us they do. – We’ve made a commitment in our house to only buy new clothing from brands who align with our ethics and I am so grateful for our friend Tabatha at @velocitoddler for creating an amazing line of cute and comfy kids wear that our littles are all about. As you have likely seen – Sól has been rocking their new rainbow dress non.stop. and Nova insists that their cool dinosaur shirt goes ONLY with a twirly skirt and sparkle pants they wear twice a week (And I am not gonna stop them). – Super soft, snuggly (seriously), sustainable, organic fabrics. Bold, rad prints. Hand made in Albuquerque, and a commitment to the simple notion that all clothes are for all kids?! – yes please! – I’m off to place a new order and am thrilled they’ve oh so generously allowed us to gift y’all 25% off with code 4thTriBodies25 Enjoy! 🖤 – #velocitoddler #kidsfashion #sustainablefashion #genderfreekidswear #genderfreekids #nonbinaryparenting

558 Likes, 21 Comments – ash luna (they/them) (@helloashluna) on Instagram: „We all know that clothes don’t have a gender but so many companies insist on telling us they do. -…“

Je to na nich

Počas posledných mesiacov rodičia Novy začali k Nove hovoriť nebinárnymi/neutrálnymi zámenami oni/ich. Lebo tým, že by používali ženské zámená len kvôli tomu, že sa tak Nova narodila, podporovali by binárne spôsoby, ktorými Novu vychovávať nechceli. “Koncept pohlavia je zatiaľ pre Novu za medzami ich chápania…No ako rastú, vyvíjajú sa a dospievajú budeme naďalej rešpektovať spôsoby akými sa vyvíjajú a identifikujú bez rozdielu na to čo z nich vyrastie,” tvrdí mama Novy. 

Nova: a mood. – #savingsupernova #setlife

294 Likes, 3 Comments – ash luna (they/them) (@helloashluna) on Instagram: „Nova: a mood. – #savingsupernova #setlife“

Nova… the most serious unicorn. – J/K 🙊🦄🤣 – #novagram #savingsupernova

ash luna (they/them) shared a photo on Instagram: „Nova… the most serious unicorn. – J/K 🙊🦄🤣 – #novagram #savingsupernova“ * See 4,201 photos and videos on their profile.

Čo si myslíte o takejto “nebinárnej výchove”?